It Is Coming

My biggest fear comes again. The fear that first came right a year ago. I thought that would be one of the worst day to happen. I before forgot about it already. But something reminded me, and now i can feel the pain i used to have, again. I had opportunities to catch up, opened it again and let them in. Unfortunately, i couldn't make it. Still, i threw away the same thing that broke me down. I said, i wouldn't make it anymore until the right time. But then few months later, i broke my own words, because of the confident feeling. I was thinking that i became so rude. But i kept saying to myself, "its all alright now". Then, times walked so fast. I didn't even imagine that i would be this far with it now. By that, i found some differences. Dirrefences that i knew it surely had. But i just felt like i couldn't be treated like that. I should be treated even better because i knew i deserved it. And i knew i was wrong by thinking like that. From now on, I work to accept it no matter what. Because i'm so tired to take care of it anymore. Even if sometimes that feeling comes again and again, even faster than before. I wanted to say it all but suddenly i was hesitant, afraid to hurt it and, i just can't express my feelings anymore. Now that i already remember all about that day, i'm just confused with all of it. Either i should take this action or that action. And that's why, since that day i never keep it too hard. It's not like that i'm not being serious. But i'm just afraid to be hurt anymore. I'm afraid of being a single-fighter.