It Is Coming

My biggest fear comes again. The fear that first came right a year ago. I thought that would be one of the worst day to happen. I before forgot about it already. But something reminded me, and now i can feel the pain i used to have, again. I had opportunities to catch up, opened it again and let them in. Unfortunately, i couldn't make it. Still, i threw away the same thing that broke me down. I said, i wouldn't make it anymore until the right time. But then few months later, i broke my own words, because of the confident feeling. I was thinking that i became so rude. But i kept saying to myself, "its all alright now". Then, times walked so fast. I didn't even imagine that i would be this far with it now. By that, i found some differences. Dirrefences that i knew it surely had. But i just felt like i couldn't be treated like that. I should be treated even better because i knew i deserved it. And i knew i was wrong by thinking like that. From now on, I work to accept it no matter what. Because i'm so tired to take care of it anymore. Even if sometimes that feeling comes again and again, even faster than before. I wanted to say it all but suddenly i was hesitant, afraid to hurt it and, i just can't express my feelings anymore. Now that i already remember all about that day, i'm just confused with all of it. Either i should take this action or that action. And that's why, since that day i never keep it too hard. It's not like that i'm not being serious. But i'm just afraid to be hurt anymore. I'm afraid of being a single-fighter.

Life Saver

I'm thinking about many things right now. There are many things that bother my mind. I don't know, but I just keep asking myself, why are some people afraid to lose someone they love, but they don't do enough action to keep, save and protect them. It's like, you know that some things are not good for them, but you don't—or can't do something to protect them. Are you afraid or just don't know what to do? Or, again, you let them choose what they want, because you feel like it's not your job to ban them, or you know they surely can face it so you don't need to protect them? There are many people that need to be kept, saved and protected. Even if they don't ask for it. They need a saver, their life saver. Maybe, in their entire life, they keep looking for it. But if you say that you don't need to protect them because you see that they can protect theirselves, then you're totally wrong. We need each other. We have to protect each other.  

Well, when you already do tell them that something is not good for them, and they refuse, force them. Do not let them. Do not think "I've banned them. If they're not listening, It's their fault. At least I've warned them not to do." It's damn wrong, man. Force them no matter what. Because every person has their ego, forcing theirselves to do it even if it hurts them. There are many reasons, but I won't explain it here because I'm sure you know it already. And, that's what life saver for. Every person needs their own life saver. Because once they hurt and can't be saved anymore, you may blame yourself because you think you can't protect them enough.—Or you blame them because they can't protect themselves, you've warned them already but they didn't listen it. Well, it's all about time. Once you lose them, you'll regret it. So, protect someone you love, before they are gone.  

Ah, and one thing again, maybe. I did read a quote, and it made me think. It's about the difference between like, and love. Do you guys know the difference? The real difference from the action? Seriously, I couldn't stop thinking about it, because there are many people, say that they love someone but it's not like what 'someone in love' do. I saw and felt it. Someone who claimed that they're in love, didn't do what it's supposed to do.  

  

 

  

I ever heard someone said, "you have to be habitual with my side you don't like". And I was thinking, "alright, it's all about your heart then, not mine or them". For those who can't deal with it, they may blame them. But for those who can deal with it, they may think that it's normal, and they won't fix themselves because maybe they just don't want to, and they're comfortable with what they do. "if you love me, you surely can accept all my sides". They don't want to be forced and to be changed, probably. They enjoy it and who would break it?  

It's not only about your heart, man. If you really care about someone you love, then you should keep their heart. Do not hurt them. Do not force them to deal with something they don't like. If you really can't change it, then make a deal between you and them. A deal that you both can relate. Every relationship has their own thing they can't change. Because it's not only about you or them again. And if you know that they do have problems, care for them. They need your attention. If you don't really care for them, then your love is not that big. And one thing, do not underestimate small things. Don't.  

If you really love someone, don't want them hurt and gone, then protect and keep them no matter what. That's what sacrifice is for. Show and prove that you care about them, don't think that you don't need to protect them because they can protect themselves. Because you only have few times to love them, but you have your lifetime to regret because you couldn't protect them when they were with you. Or you can just sit down and watch someone else do it for them.